Not sure why

Gazanjyk December 19, 2011

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One of my favorite memories is of spilling chocolate sauce all over my chef’s coat last year. I was working at Nectar as a cook – for free – with no clue why. I guess you could say I was a little lost, though at the time I felt inspired, confident that if I kept going where my heart told me to go, I’d find my way.

I like to remember that feeling.

Now, almost a year later, I feel like I’m waving around in the dark again, trying to find a light switch, stubbing my toes on foreign objects. There’s still so much I’d like to do, so many tricks still up my sleeve.

Last weekend I was in another restaurant kitchen, working on a story about a local chef. In most of the kitchens I’ve visited, there’s at least one place you can squeeze yourself into so that you don’t get knocked over and you don’t set your sweater on fire.

Turns out, that’s exactly where I like to be. Standing in the midst of choking heat and roasting fish. Even when I’m not sure why, even when I don’t know the reason.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Jen December 19, 2011 at 6:34 pm

I’ve been thinking a lot about setting goals and achieving dreams lately. Maybe it’s because of the new year and maybe it’s because I’m turning 30 next year. Regardless, I think it’s good to be in the in-between stage–it means you are getting prepared for your next phase. I think I’m there, too.


Courtney December 19, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Love that. I like the idea of being in between too. It means there’s no telling what’s next.


Stephanie December 19, 2011 at 11:28 pm

I think you’re beyond inspiring Courtney and will fit in where ever you set your heart on fitting in. I’m at that point right now where I’m trying to get my name out there and start up my bakery/catering business but feel like I’m not making progress and not going anywhere…you’re left wanting the next part to come, but it feels like it never will.

Here’s to making dreams and goals come true and finding where you want to be in 2012. Have a happy holiday!


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