30 things I know by 30

To celebrate the big 3-0, I thought I’d take a page out of Joy the Baker’s book. I thought I’d tell you some of what I know. Half of these lessons I’ve learned by doing the complete opposite. The other half I’m still learning.

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Humor makes up for a multitude of sins. The absolute most difficult times in life can be countered by potty jokes. I don’t know why they work, they just do.

If a problem arises and you don’t know what to do, take a bath. If you haven’t figured it out by the time your hands shrivel, it’s probably out of your control.

That feeling in your gut is what’s telling you to do it anyway. Do it anyway.

In conversations concerning politics, religion or sex, you should probably just eat your mashed potatoes.

Try to forgive yourself.

Friendship is what holds you accountable for your craziness. It’s also what helps you sleep at night.

Sometime between late May and early September, dinner makes itself. Proof? Corn and tomatoes.

Over-promise. And then run like hell until you deliver.

If you can’t tone it, tan it.

Find a handful of people who would do anything for you. Do anything for them in return: pick them up when they lose their keys, pick them up when they lose their boyfriends, pick them up when they lose their way.

Say yes.

Listen really hard. Listen really long. Speaking is surprisingly optional.

It’s probably best not to reconnect with exes. They never smell as good.

Michael Ruhlman says, “Follow what fascinates you. Others will, too.” I like that.

Adjust your expectations.

Try not to get attached to anything you own. It’s far more likely to shrink, warp, ding, scratch, bend, rust or evaporate.

Go for the laugh.

Always, always, always ask why.

Be yourself. If you can’t be yourself, be Tina Fey.

Always measure when baking. Never measure in life. (This is easier said than done.)

Coffee is better with cream and sugar but learn to drink it black. I got that from my father-in-law. You can’t always count on condiments.

Find someone who defends you when you’re wrong. Keep them.

Save the pants that are two sizes too big.

My sister always tells her art classes, “Accidents are okay. If you spill your water you’re okay. You can start over or we’ll make a happy accident out of it.” I like that, too.

Pay attention because people come into your life for a reason.

Start every day at zero.

Trust the ocean. It’s bigger than you.

Don’t trust cheese in a bottle.

Set out to get what you want. Just like that. But understand that in the end, the universe always wins.

When it comes to knowing everything, accept that you’ve just barely scratched the surface.