Culinary School: Notes on Flipping an Egg

(Or How to Fake Confidence)

If I’m gonna’ stand here in checkered pants that look like my grandpa’s couch cushions, I’m sure as hell going to cook this fried egg right. I’m gonna’ sizzle it on it’s back in some clarified butter and then I’m gonna’ take the whole thing and flip it into the air and catch it on the other side.

It’s gonna’ be amazing, it’s gonna’ stop the show, its got my name on it. This egg spells Courtney Tsitouris.

Or at least that’s what I want to be thinking. In reality, I’m standing hunched over the range doing circular motions with the sauté pan, trying to convince myself to make the move. The egg whites are set and it’s time. We’re not allowed to use a spatula but didn’t Julia Child say that it’s all about confidence?

Just flip it.
Do it.
Man up.
Flip the egg before it overcooks!

Bam! I jerk my wrist and heave the pan upward. I watch the egg drift in slow motion — my eyes narrowing in on the fragile, yolk center.

“Please don’t let it crack, please don’t let it crack.”

And then I see that darling, whirling disk of protein turn over midway through its flight and slide into the pan again. Lord have mercy. I did it.

I want to throw my arms up in victory and run around the room like I’ve just scored a touchdown. I briefly debate doing some kind of obnoxious Iggy Shuffle. Instead, I slide the egg on a paper plate and back away from the stove, thankful that I survived another day.

As it turns out, cooking an over easy fried egg provides a lovely little life lesson. Have no fear. Tell yourself you can do it. Do it. And then say you knew it all along.

Tagged as: cincinnati state, Culinary School, fried egg